5 Totally Simple Reasons You Should Cheer Up About Your Break Up (if you’re a girl, or if you think like one))

broken_heart3Heart breaks are tough. All you can think of is sleeping. Because sleeping is the only time you’re not thinking. And if like me, you’re also working, then there could not be a worse time in your life to have your heart broken in. You can’t skip work for more than a day or two, or like me, you’re still waiting to get past that wretched period of limbo between being a new recruit and a permanent employee.

Your gut explodes all the way up to your throat every time morning decides to shine it’s chirpy and sunny ass on your face and you. Can’t. Stand it.

Nothing is kosher about this situation. Your heart was just broken and the world is unapologetic about it. You know why? Because the world’s keyed into some pretty good reasons why you should get over it already!

1] Do you not SEE what’s out there?
Okay so maybe dating someone’s kept you busy for a while but girl, did you NOT see Shemar Moore’s delicious little selfie on instagram? That man is the hot in pancakes and if breaking up means you are that much closer to that face? What’re you so sad about?

2] You know the light at the end of the tunnel?
Yeah, that’s just a feeling. And oh what a great and beautiful feeling it is. It’s like talking to the universe about feeling lonely and have Andrew VanWyngarden sing to you through the beauteous extensions of your iPod about how his tribe cut the heart from a lonely life. The light at the end of the tunnel is that feeling. That illuminated moment when you start to see again and you realise the freedom you have just encountered. And seriously if you don’t know who MGMT is, I don’t think I can say much else. Seriously, walk away. Walk away now.

And check them out while you’re at it. Then you can return. Thank you.

4] Freedom! Freedom!
I know it’s great to be loved, and protected, and cared for. I know that feeling when someone cares if you’re home safe, if you’ve eaten and worn something warm, that feeling is just so…well perfect that it could make the most headstrong spinster-for-life totally rethink her choices, but girl, now I know you’re thinking the George Michael or the Richie Havens kinda Freedom, but I’m talking the Aretha Franklin kind. There is no love in the world that can beat the love you feel for yourself the minute you step out from behind the satin veil of anyone’s protection and start to make your own decisions. If you haven’t tried it yet, now’s the time. And if you’ve been there and done that, why stop now?

5] Tik Tok!
OKAY OKAY so maybe I’ve pushed it just a little bit with the whole Ke$ha reference but I couldn’t think of anything else and HEY! This is probably JUST WHAT YOU NEED! You know, the pedicure on your toes and the trying out all your clothes stuff? It kinda helps! No but seriously, think about the time, think of all the time you have to read, go dancing, learn a language, I don’t know, anything! I’m saying it again, it’s great to be loved, but there’s a lot of other things that matter too. How about you focus on those things for a while. Because before you know it, Shemar Moore will be history and the other guy from that other place already has your number and you’re feeling that fluttery feeling you never thought you could ever feel again.

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