Dear Mrs. Halls of the world,
I come from a country, where if a woman get’s raped,teased, troubled (by men), the general attitude of the authorities around her, is that it was her fault. Sometimes blatantly, and behind the closed doors of some very dingy closets, I see men and women talk about things. Reasons they believe the girl was raped.
>Why was she out there late?
>Why didn’t she take someone along?
>Who asked her to be so reckless?
>I’m sure she did something to provoke him. And lastly, (my favourite),
>What was she wearing?
I love these questions. They tell me who I’m around. See, these are the closets that need to be opened and aired out. Who cares about anyone’s sexuality? I want to know if I’m spending my time with another Mrs. Hall of the world.
Your letter to that little teenage girl made me laugh, because yet again I found that not only do I have to fight haters like you in my own country, there’s a whole world of people like you out there. Now this lead to feeling angry, angry that there are so many of you, that women have to wade their way through before enjoying some sense of dignity in being just them- human beings. But as is with some of the stages of grief, I soon began to feel sad. I’ll tell you why in just a bit.
Mrs Halls, if you were trying to teach your children [read: children, not sons] how, not to be vain, how not to pay too much attention to the way they look, how to find unaesthetic beauty in the people and things around them, I would have sighed and shared your post and wanted thinkers like you to reach a wider audience. But you’re not doing that are you? You’re instead throwing light on little teenage girls with barely developed breasts and judging them for being happy, free and discovering their own little ways to feel beautiful. You see there are so many Mrs. Halls out there in the form of men and women forcing girls into labels of sweet, dainty, bold, boisterous and slutty, that girls don’t always know what it feels like to be just them- without the labels. You’re telling us all the time how hard it’s going to be for us to be loved if we’re not who the world of Mrs. Halls like you think we should be, that we’re caught between discovering ourselves through our own internal compasses, and turning into little Mrs. Hall puppets (This time Made in the USA).
But fuck that.
Let’s talk about the real things here. I find it funny that you would think pouting and being sexy is wrong. Seriously?
You’re talking about raising men “with a strong moral compass, and men of integrity” and those are wonderful aspirations. But how strong are your sons’ moral compasses going to be if you’re teaching them that girls who don’t wear bras and like to take self portraits are indecent? Don’t you see what you’re doing here? You’re telling your children [yes your daughter too] that it is going to be okay for them to disrespect these girls because you don’t think they’re worthy of any respect anyway. What sort of moral decisions will they then take as men? Or will anything they do (that is disrespectful toward a woman who doesn’t think she has to wear a bra and please all the Mrs. Halls of the world for their approval) be justified by this very virtue of a compass that you are trying to instill in them?
There are so many things wrong with what you have said, that I wouldn’t know how to begin. So I’m just going to get to what makes me sad.
I feel sad for your children Mrs. Halls, because they are going to (if you succeed in raising them as boys and girls who cannot think for themselves and make their own decisions) grow up to be big people with little brains and even smaller hearts like you.
I feel sad because they are going to walk around with these judgements as adults, and I feel sad for the burden of these judgements and labels that they will have ready for use, the minute they see girls and boys and women doing things their mamas and dadas taught them to be wrong.
Since I read your post, I too pray for the girls who will love your sons, for they will always be seen by your sons in the tainted light of your perceptions. I hope your sons find strong willed women who will teach you that levels of “purity” can be measured in oil, gas, milk, I don’t know.. weed? But people are not commodities to be sifted and made pure. But if you want to go Osho on me, then I say your thoughts, your words and if your words are a reflection on your actions, they’re all prettyyy good contenders for being “impure”.
I feel sad for you because I don’t think you have any idea how your “God” is going to receive you. I’m pretty sure you think God is a HE, and you think HE believes you to be pure in thought, sans the actions, then I would love to believe that you have another think coming.
And lastly, Mrs. Halls of the world, I feel sad for you as women, because what I see, is a woman who has no idea how to love herself. Truly love herself. You are obviously a victim of your own knee-deep perceptions, and I feel sad for you, that you have probably never discovered what it feels like to love every inch of your insides enough, not to let people like yourself affect you.
I hope you have the courage to see beyond your judgements and shallow perceptions. I hope you have the courage to love. Respect. And Accept- NOT by your own standards. But just as living beings.
Oh, and since I LOVE selfies myself, here I am, fresh out of bed, bra-less and how! Pouting my way to sultriness. HERE’S TO YOU MRS. HALLS of the world. Eat this. And remember, I will ALWAYS fight you.