Because one day he’s going to get a girlfriend, and do the same to you. So you have a best friend, and she or he is great, in fact, let’s make it easier and make it a little gender neutral here- that’s taking the liberty to assume that we’re all cut from the same cloth, just in different shapes and sizes and accents, and this cloth is made of a very recondite material.
So you have a best friend, and they’re super great and super important to you. You’re one of those people who believes that there ain’t no fish getting in the way of you and your hommie ‘cuz you two are the bros. You’re like Tequila and Lime completed with that little coating of salt. You’re like the slices of soft and fresh brown bread that make the concept of peanut butter and jelly even remotely plausible. You’re like shoe belonging to each foot. Yeah. You’re like the Tripple Sec and Vodka that make that LIT so banging beautiful that the two of you swear you’ll never drink ever again when you’re off barfing out your Saturday hangover, but come Wednesday, you’re already beating the blues looking forward to your Friday out with the beer and the LIT’s and oddly enough, even the puking after.
Sure, I get it. You’re like that. Your best friend’s your dude to catch all those movies with, the only guy or girl you totally don’t mind paying for you when you’re out, they’ve probably heard you fart a hundred times already and they’re definitely the people you’re calling on that unexpected Friday afternoon when you get fired. Yeah. You’re tight. But one day you’re going to get a boyfriend, or a girlfriend and your best friend won’t understand it.
Not for the longest time. Your best friend is going to be the one rebelling like the 16 year old who doesn’t want the step daddy. They’re going to annoy you, with silence. With sighs. And even those odd comments that they throw into a conversation that’s going pretty well, just so they can make their point.
It’s not that you don’t like them making their point. It’s just how juvenile they sound to you all of a sudden. You start to wonder what the fuck you’re missing in all of this. Yeah it’s okay to even consider that they might not be your friend anymore, might just be a shape-shifter (if you’re a Fringe fan you know what I’m talking about). Bottom line- You’ve got a new relationship and your best friend’s giving you a hard time about it.
Why? Well I don’t know. Maybe it’s because you’ve been single for so long they never thought they’d have to share you with someone else. Maybe it’s because they’re worried this someone else will turn into your go-to person and they’re not ready to give up that spot-EVER.
Maybe it’s that it was too sudden, and now you’re going to have to divide your time and what’s going to happen when that cool new movie you’ve both been talking about comes out and you choose to go with your new person person and not your best person? Or maybe, just maybe, it’s because you’re on your god damn phone all the time, phubbing (that’s an actual word these days), and every time they try to tell you something cool, or important like they used to, they’re responded to by your beeping cell phone. I don’t know. But seriously, they might snap and give you grief for it. And then you won’t know what to do.
You’re going to feel constantly torn between a best friend who you now feel like you’re totally ignoring (though that might not entirely be true), and this new person who’s well… New! You’re probably going to feel guilty too, and you’ll find yourself slowly, but surellyy saying a few ‘no not today’s’ to your new person, a few more ‘let’s go bro’ to your best person and then, as much as those reflexes gag at your attempts to tame them the fuck down, you’re going to stop looking at your phone every time it beeps. You’ll do everything in your power to balance both relationships. You’ll do what it takes to not let your best friend feel ignored or left out or alone because aside from the fact that they miss you, they’re probably single right now and you don’t want them feeling lonely and all that. So you’ll stick your neck out there to keep things steady and rolling.
And then one day you’re best friend will start seeing someone.
And that’s going to probably be somewhere around the time that you stop seeing the person you were seeing. You’re suddenly going to have all this time to yourself, and not know what to do with it. Maybe you’re upset about how things went down with your ex, maybe you’re like super grateful to the Universe for having magically ended it for you, maybe it’s that, you don’t know what the fuck that was all about but whatever right? Bottom line- your single right now, and your best friend’s not.
Suddenly you’re feeling all the things they felt. Suddenly they’re doing to you, all the things they said you did to them when you were dating. Suddenly, they’re this annoying human-person-thing who can’t seem to get enough of their phone! I’m sorry what now?! Suddenly, you’re so angry that you want to treat them just like they treated you so they understand what total douches they were to you. ( But you still love them of course so it’s all in good faith)
Never let your best friend cut in on your relationship time. Because there’s nothing like new love and you have a right to enjoy it. Because seeing someone new, is new and fun and it’s the whole point of dating. The excitement, the discovering, the wanting to spend-all-your-time-together phase, the attention, the humour, the fun. That’s what seeing someone is all about. The b-e-g-in-n-i-n-g.
Soon you’d have had too much of them, or too little, soon they’re not going to funny anymore, soon they’re not even going to fun to be around. Whatever it is, it’ll fizz out soon enough and you’ll be back to good ol’ planet earth again.
So relax. Don’t let your best friend spoil the ‘newness’ of your new found love. They’re your best friend, they’ll get over it. And they’re going to find someone new too, any day now. So don’t be that person to them, just because they were that person to you.
Don’t say a word, and when you start seeing someone again, just tell your best bud to suck it for a while.