Yeah those, the ones you know have the potential of some great piece of information you could be happy to have stumbled upon and maybe even share with your sister or your best bud. You’re pressurized by the secret glare of these tabs gawking at you from the browser while you stumble upon more interesting things like what really happened to Cory Monteith, going over a 15 slider on actors who modeled before they got famous. Life’s obviously a lot more interesting than what happened to Malala Yousafzai and that other guy on Readability who’s saying something about changing the creepy guy narrative.You want to know about these things, but they’re a little too heavy, or something’s not right with the font or the layout of the page, it’s just not conducive to reading. And besides, you have work to do right? So there’s that too.
So it’s okay to close those tabs and be done with them. You want to be more informed, you want to be more knowing of the cool things going on in the internet world, but it’s okay- if you didn’t read the page when you opened it, and you didn’t read it when you had a little time on your hands and could feel the heavy gaze of the unread tabs looming over your eyelids, then it’s safe to say you’re probably never going to read it anyway.
Instead, revel in all the little consequently inconsequential-s that make your day fly by. Be proud of the TED Talks you did in fact give 18 minutes of your busy life to, and learned from. Be happy about all the friends who thought of you today when you supported their pointless banter on Facebook with a like and a share when it mattered to you. Give yourself a pat for sharing, that’s how much you care, enough to brighten someone’s day, spread the word for a cause, or help a lost little doggie find his home. You’re a good person. And like the other good people like you, you want to be a part of a lot of things, want to know everything, and might even want to be able to talk about everything amazing when that beautiful other person who takes your breath away finally thinks it’s okay to share a smoke with you. You may not have drunken tales or travelogues to share, but hey, ‘there’s so much happening over the internet and it’s fascinating if you give it a try!’
Yeah, it’s okay, smile and say “fuck it” instead. Feel that little pebble on a mountain that finally tips the balance, disappear. Think about other things you can close instead. Think about how good it feels to admit that someone *might* be great, but you just don’t see it. And then catch that little light blub that glows up over your happy head when you realise, it works the other way around when it comes to you too. Now you can probably be kinder to the crush who doesn’t seem into you. It happens.
Think about more things. Like how great it would be to wake up on Sunday for a long ride to somewhere on the bike that seems cursed ever since you told ‘him’ how much you love ‘him’, and how you’ll always take care of ‘him’.(Yeah it’s okay to personify your machine with sexist gender tags and traits.)
Chuckle at how the Universe totally likes switching to the Comedy Central that is your life. Smile and let it go.
Like the tabs you’re never going to read if you haven’t already read them. Close a lot of other open ended nonsense you don’t really have to put yourself through while you’re at it- like the way the client brushed you off when you were trying to make a point, stop wondering if he thinks you’re dumb because that’s probably just who he is, not a very good listener, next time make a better point, one he’ll be sorry he didn’t listen to the first time. Forget about how your current person of minute interest doesn’t seem to be capable of talking about anything else but pot. Stop wondering why you couldn’t get yourself to trust that previous someone, it’s not your fault. They know why you couldn’t trust them, even if they like to pretend like they have no idea. So don’t waste your time trying to make it your fault.
Be glad for your instincts instead and wait for a time you meet someone you feel completely safe around. Wait for the next client meeting you’re going to be sure to make your voice heard at. Let your thoughts wander and maybe think about what awesome Upworthy stuff Adam Mordecai’s going to share. You hate to hear it maybe, but just chill.
There will be those moments, when you save a tab for later. You’ll go an entire day promising the tab, and with it yourself, that you *will* read it. For some strange reason, you’ll be drawn to it, not like the looming dread that surrounds the tabs you know you don’t want to read, but think you should, this will be different, it will be a tab you can’t give mediocre attention to, and so you wait, for the entire day’s tasks and mails, and presentations to be sent, so you can finally read it.
Enjoy those those days.
And remember that they can’t come everyday. Learn to say ‘fuck it’ some more. Learn to let go some too. Of the tabs, of the people, of the expectations.