Come right in. Welcome. Enter and be jolted by the balky gloom smeared across this painted house like a coat of butter on a baking tray. Come further in, if you haven’t lost the will yet, there, to the right, behind the fading translucent curtains swaying like a demented lady on a chair, nuzzled by the breeze that send a subtle chime through your spine- The wind chime giggles in animated horror. Yes there, on your right through those curtains, you will notice, if you peep-the dissenting throne of doom. And then you’ll feel it. Three bold and recusant egos floating high above three rooted souls. Like a big gigantic hot air balloon, these egos thud and slam against the ever concrete walls and roofs, tied invisibly to the souls still unaware.
And if you can get passed it all, the looming grey, the towering egos and the throne behind those translucent curtains, ghosted by the chiming wind. If you can walk through it all, then I’ll give your curious heart some more catnip.
I’ll let you into my room.
Don’t be shy. Just look away from the curtains to your right, don’t even let the big french windows leading to the balcony and those comfortable looking couches fool you. Take a quick left, five steps ahead and THERE. To your left, is my abode. My assuaging little den. It is this tiny four walled capsule that appeases me. Balms the chaos outside. Dims the noise and cuts out all the drama. Step in, and I’ll show you the biggest part of me. My walls. They have seen me change these walls. And they have kept my secrets. So come on in I tell you, I’ll show you my world.
If you will respect my space, I’ll show you the man I could fearlessly call my first real friend. There is he is, on your right, just by the window. Tall, big and beautiful. He swore he didn’t have a gun and shot himself, but I swear, I’ve had some of the craziest most honest conversations with him. He heard me out this guy, smiled at me as we called ourselves dumb, because “we were never like them, and we could never pretend.” I first heard him sing while leaning against the closed doors of a friend’s older brother. I’ll never forget how I followed the sound. that sound of his voice, and I knew my life would never be the same again.
Now that you know how it all began, feel free to look around, walk over the piles of clothes, used, unused, I can’t tell anymore, you’ll see pages stuck to an introverted little corner on the wall, there you’ll find words that left me tears, or filled my heart with the distant calling for nothingness. You’ll see words that echo my laments on how “we’re fated to pretend” , you’ll see the heart of these walls bleed as Buckley cried to them about the “secret chord that David played, when he pleased the lord”, and you’ll hear them sigh, se he sang to his lover, “she should’ve come over”…
Spin around a few times, let your eyes be dazzled by the ghosts of men who are not, splay these walls with crimson colours of doom, and grey, and fire and truth. Give Megadeth a nod there on the left, while they pay homage to the inevitable “foreclosure of my dreams”, Let Nugent smile his way into a spine shattering riff that shakes you up and makes you want more of that something so devilishly sweet. Bow down to Sabbath by the cupboard door as they tell you gloomy tales of “generals gathered in their masses, just as witches at black masses” and if you can pull yourself away from that, come say hello to REM and Radiohead paving their way through these gods of metal.
I’d be lying to you if I didn’t tell you that “I’m a creep, and I’m a weirdo” Thom Yorke will gladly agree. He knows, he’s seen me grow, over couplets and couplets of years; within the comforting confines of these walls that are as much his home, as they are mine.
You see, these are the gods who made me. The gods who heard me. Watched me and inspired me to carry on. The others need no introduction. So take one last glance on your way out, and graze your fingers over the many pieces that complete me. This is my temple. Its filthy. It’s dark. It’s poetry.
This is me. wrapped across this room, from Wall to Wall. Hello.